How should I seek help if I am not finding it easy sharing accommodation?

If you are experiencing issues with your flatmates and you are struggling to get along with them, we suggest that you try and speak to them to resolve any issues - most of the time they might not realise they have had an impact on you and a conversation will stop this happening in the future.

You cannot choose your flatmates when living in halls of residence, and you may end up living with somebody who you don't like. Sometimes people may have different lifestyles or personalities to you – they may be noisier, drink alcohol or eat different food however, you must respect everyone’s differences. Try looking for common interests between you i.e. your course, sports clubs, travel, culture etc. The more you get to know your flatmates, the easier it will be to live with them.

We also suggest that you try and hold a flat meeting - they are a great way to get everyone on the same page and agree on how you would like to live together. Not holding meetings can lead to miscommunication and tension amongst flatmates.

We have some suggestions for communicating positively with your flatmates:-

• listen to each other - when we feel nervous, we often forget to listen because we are focused on how we look or on what we want to say. But listening is important for having a good conversation and making our points
• be respectful - in the heat of the moment, it is important to be mindful of our language to avoid offending those we are trying to communicate with
• open body language - when you speak, pay attention to your body language. Actions like crossed arms, wandering eyes, or slouching can signal a lack of respect. Instead, try sitting up straight, nodding to show understanding, and maintaining good eye contact to convey engagement and respect
• bring ideas, not blame - think about how you would like things to improve and come ready with ideas, not complaints. Focusing on solutions helps keep the conversation positive and productive. For example, you could suggest setting up a cleaning rota or using a shared calendar for quiet study times. Small steps that make a big difference when everyone’s on the same page.

If you try to resolve it and find that it’s not helping, you can get in contact with the Communities team by raising an enquiry with the MySurrey Hive team on Surrey Support and they can offer further help and advice.